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This paper will search the Bible and attempt to present Scriptural answers to the major questions of sexuality for Christians.
First, it will identify God's three purposes for sex. Then it will present a picture of perfect Christian sex. Next it will deal with questions of sex for those who are not married. Finally, it will ask the Lord for help in dealing with our imperfect sex lives.
Throughout this paper, the Bible is used as the only authority. As Christians, we believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God and that it contains all the information we need to answer our most important questions of life. As the Bible says,
"All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and
is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for
correction, for instruction in righteousness:
That the man of God may be perfect (complete),
throughly furnished (equipped) unto all good
works." (2 Timothy 3:16-17 KJV)
Here are the Scriptural references . . .
"Let thy fountain (penis) be blessed: and rejoice with
the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind
(female deer) and pleasant roe (female wild goat);
let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be
thou ravished always with her love."
(Proverbs 5:18-19 KJV)
Also,
when the Lord was telling Sarah and Abraham that they would have a child,
even though they both were old, Sarah made a clear reference to sexual
pleasure, doubting that she would experience it since Abraham was also
old.
"Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am
waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?"
(Genesis 18:12 KJV)
"And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be
fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth,
and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of
the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over
every living thing that moveth upon the earth."
(Genesis 1:28 KJV)
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be
one flesh." (Genesis 2:24 KJV)
Jesus confirms this purpose of bonding, as shown below . . .
Matthew 19:4-6 (KJV)
4
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that
he which made them at the beginning made them male and
female,
5
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and
mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall
be one flesh?
6
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What
therefore God hath joined together, let not man put
asunder.
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"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father
which is in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:48 KJV)
Here, then, is a description
of perfect Christian sex, as set forth in
the Bible, God's instruction manual for our lives.
NOTE: The Scriptural positions presented here are the strictest,
most demanding ways of understanding and applying each passage.
Nobody I know has ever met all of these requirements perfectly.
Also, I seriously doubt that God insists on all of these rules
today, particularly the insistence on no divorce. Nevertheless,
I am presenting them here so you can see them and learn what
the Bible really says on these subjects.
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be
one flesh." (Genesis 2:24 KJV)
Also . . .
"Nevertheless, to avoid fornication (sexual
impurity), let every man have his own wife
and let every woman have her own husband."
(1 Corinthians 7:2 KJV)
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"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:
for what fellowship hath righteousness with
unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with
darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV)
"For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that
he hateth putting away (divorce):"
(Malachi 1:16a KJV)
_____________________________________________________________
Jeremiah 22:3 (RSV)
Thus says the LORD: Do justice and righteousness, and
deliver from the hand of the oppressor him who has been
robbed. And do no wrong or violence to the alien, the
fatherless, and the widow, nor shed innocent blood in this
place.
_____________________________________________________________
As Scripture says, as one of the Ten Commandments . . .
"Thou shalt not commit adultery." (Exodus 20:14 KJV)
(And this was ratified word-for-word by Jesus in
Matthew 19:18.)
More generally, you have no sexual contact whatsoever outside your
marriage. You and your spouse are "one flesh," not to be shared
with others.
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be
one flesh." (Genesis 2:24 KJV)
"For this cause God gave them up unto vile
affections: for even their women did change
the natural use into that which is against
nature."
"And likewise also the men, leaving the natural
use of the woman, burned in their lust one
toward another; men with men working that which
is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that
recompense of their error which was meet (due).
(Romans 1:26-27 KJV)
(This means that anal sex is out of the question, in case you were
wondering. It also prohibits homosexuality in general.)
"Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved,
let us cleans ourselves from all filthiness of the
flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear
of God." (2 Corinthians 7:1 KJV)
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"What? know ye not that your body is the temple
of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye
have of God, and ye are not your own?"
(1 Corinthians 6:19 KJV)
"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled:"
(Hebrews 13:4a KJV)
"The wife hath not power (authority) of her own
body, but the husband: and likewise also the
husband hath not power (authority) of his own
body, but the wife." (1 Corinthians 7:4 KJV)
"Also thou shalt not approach unto a woman to
uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put
apart for her uncleanness (menstrual period)."
(Leviticus 18:19 KJV)
* * *
PORNEIA, however, is not the same thing as "fornication." Some fornication is PORNEIA and some is not, and some PORNEIA is fornication and some is not, depending on the acts performed and the relationship between the two partners.
To Paul and the other Apostles, PORNEIA certainly included all adultery (Exodus 20:14), incest (Leviticus 18:6-18), bestiality (Leviticus 18:23), male homosexuality, with penetration (Leviticus 18:22), male and female homosexuality in general (Romans 1:26-27), harlotry, including paid prostitution (Ezekiel 16:41), plus perhaps other offenses unspecified.
Jesus probably had the same broad definition in mind when He cited PORNEIA as the only legitimate grounds for a man to divorce his wife (Matthew 5:32, 19:9).
PORNEIA was the only sexual offense that the church in Jerusalem required new Christians to avoid. This is clear proof of its inclusive nature (see Acts 15:20,29). They certainly would not have condoned adultery, bestality, incest, or male homosexuality, all specifically prohibited in Leviticus 18.
One of the clearest Scriptural prohibitions against PORNEIA is shown here . . .
"For this is the will of God, even your sanctification,
that ye should abstain from fornication (Greek PORNEIA):"
(1 Thessalalonians 4:3 KJV)
Actually, there is no Scriptural command that all sexual intercourse be only between married partners. You can search the entire Bible, and you cannot find one instance where marriage is required for us as a condition of sexual intercourse. The Bible clearly prohibits PORNEIA, which is "sexual impurity," as we have already shown. But nowhere do we find that it prohibits all sex outside of marriage for those who are not married.
Many people cannot be married for some reason. Perhaps they are sexually mature but too young to be married. Or perhaps they were previously married but are now widowed or divorced. Or perhaps they were never married because they could never find a suitable mate who was willing to marry them. Does God abandon them sexually? No. God provides for all our needs, including our sexual needs. However, Scripture is basically silent on the subject of sex for the unmarried. And "where Scripture is silent, opinion abounds."
So the following are my opinions, based on what I have learned so far in the Lord.
Is this a sin? I find no Scriptural evidence whatsoever against solo masturbation, and I have looked hard for it. The Old Testament story about Onan is sometimes cited as Scriptural evidence against masturbation. But God's displeasure with Onan in Genesis 38 seems to be based on Onan's subverting of his duty to father a child rather than merely spilling the seed. So I do not see Genesis 38:10 as a general prohibition on masturbation. Beyond that, there is nothing that I can find in scripture which would prohibit masturbating oneself, alone.
The only possible references to masturbation in the Bible would be Leviticus 15:16-18, 32-33; 22:4 and Deuteronomy 23:10-11, regarding "emissions of semen." But such emissions are considered less serious than a woman's menstruation: hardly a sin.
Evil thoughts? Filthiness? Lust? No more so than many people experience during sex with their married spouse. So where, then, is the prohibition? "I find no fault . . . ," as Pilate said of Jesus.
Many people ask the question, "Is masturbation a sin?" The answer is NO. Even within a marriage, solo masturbation has a place, for some people.
Better yet: get married.
"For all have sinned, and come short of the
glory of God;" (Romans 3:23 KJV)
So what should we do to make our sex life more perfect?
First, we should throw ourselves on the mercy of God, as the despised publican did in this verse from Scripture . . .
"And the publican, standing afar off, would not
lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote
his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner."
(Luke 18:13 KJV)
Then, we should ask God to give us what we need, according to
His will for us. As Scripture says . . .
"Be careful (anxious) for nothing; but in every
thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving
let your requests be made known unto God."
(Philippians 4:6 KJV)
Here is a suggested prayer we can use . . .
O Lord, Creator of the Universe,
I thank you for the many blessings You have given me,
Including the wonderful blessing of sex.
But I have fallen short in my use of sex,
And I have misused this gift from You.
I acknowledge my sexual faults, and am sorry for them.
Please be merciful to me, a sinner.
Lord, according to Your will, please change my heart
So that I will desire only those things that are
Pleasing to You.
And give to me everything I truly need
To live my life as You would have me live it.
In Jesus' holy Name I pray, Amen.
<><
May the Lord bless you as you move closer and closer to Him.
And now a final thought:
This is as He wants us to do, and this is why He gave the Bible to us.
_____________________________________________________________
But he answered, "It is written, 'Man shall not live by bread
alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.'"
(Matthew 4:4 RSV)
_____________________________________________________________
Nevertheless, we need to recognize that as Christians, we are bound by
no law but The Law Of Love, as expressed in Galatians 5:14. We have a huge
amount of liberty in Jesus Christ, our Lord.
_____________________________________________________________
For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, "You shall love your
neighbor as yourself." (Galatians 5:14 RSV)
_____________________________________________________________
And we should also recognize that if we sin against God, even repeatedly,
He will forgive our offenses against Him to the same extent that we
forgive others of their offenses against us.
____________________________________________________
"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly
Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men
their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your
trespasses." (Matthew 6:14-15 RSV)
____________________________________________________
So go now, in the confidence that the Lord loves you and wants you to have
everything you need in your life. May His blessings flow abundantly to
you.
Blessings to you in Jesus Christ our Lord,
Rev. Bill McGinnis <><
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