1. "LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."
This is "The Law Of Love," God's most important commandment for all
For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, "You shall love your
neighbor as yourself." (Galatians 5:14 RSV)
This is the starting point, the Scriptural Imperative
given many times in the Bible. (See also Matthew 22:39, Mark 12:31,
Luke 10:27, Romans 13:8-10, James 2:8, 1 Peter 4:8.)
And who is our neighbor? Every other person is our neighbor. (See
Luke 10:29-37 for Jesus' answer to that same question.)
But sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we still don't like
the other person very much, or we still feel anger or resentment.
What can we do in cases like this ?
2. FORGIVE THE OTHER PERSON.
The most troublesome harmful emotion is the emotion of anger.
You can neutralize anger by making a direct conscious decision to
forgive the other person for whatever he may have done to cause
you to feel anger toward him.
("As you forgive, so you will be forgiven." See Matthew 6:14-15)
3. TREAT THE OTHER PERSON THE WAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE
This the "The Golden Rule," our most important guideline for dealing
with other people.
"So whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them; for
this is the law and the prophets." (Matthew 7:12 RSV)
This is the most important rule in human relations. You can
apply this rule to almost any situation, and you will not be far
wrong. The Golden Rule puts The Law Of Love into action.
The remaining eighteen ideas are specific applications
of The Golden Rule to different kinds of situations.
4. SMILE AND BE FRIENDLY.
You like it when people smile at you and behave in a
friendly way. So do the same to them.
5. BE COURTEOUS.
You like it when people are courteous to you. And
you dislike it when people are discourteous or rude to
you. So be courteous in all of your dealings with others.
6. BE TRUTHFUL, WITHOUT GIVING OFFENSE.
7. REMEMBER THE OTHER PERSON'S NAME, AND USE IT FREQUENTLY.
You like it when other people remember and use your
name. So do the same for them.
8. DON'T ARGUE.
Arguments are very negative. They poison good human relations.
You don't like it when someone argues with you.
So don't argue with them. And if you see an argument coming,
take the appropriate steps to neutralize the argument before it
causes too much damage.
9. FIND AREAS OF AGREEMENT.
Relationships are much better when both people focus on their
areas of agreement rather than their areas of disagreement.
Most people agree on more things than they disagree on. So
if you focus on your areas of agreement with the other person,
your areas of disagreement will seem smaller and less important.
10. DON'T CRITICIZE.
Criticism builds hostility and bad attitudes. Criticism is
poison to good human relations.
You don't like to be criticized; so don't criticize
other people. They don't like it, either. And you won't help
accomplish anything good by criticizing.
As your mother should have taught you, "If you can't say something
nice, don't say anything at all."
11. SHOW HONEST APPRECIATION.
You like it when other people take the time and
interest to recognize and appreciate the good things you do. So
do the same for them. Everyone does some things worthy of
appreciation. Find them, and recognize them in the other person.
12. TRY TO SEE THE OTHER PERSON'S POINT OF VIEW.
You like it when the other person understands your point of
view and can see problems the way you see them. So do the same
for him. Try looking at the situation from the other person's
point of view.
13. GIVE YOUR FULL ATTENTION TO THE OTHER PERSON WHEN HE IS
You like it when people pay full attention to you when you are
talking. So do the same for them.
14. TALK ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON'S INTERESTS.
You like to have other people talk with you about
your interests. So do the same for them. Find out what things
they are interested in, and steer the conversation toward these
15. ADMIT YOU MAY BE WRONG.
This idea is surprisingly powerful and useful!
Here's what to say, whenever there is a disagreement as
to a matter of fact: "Now, I may be wrong about this. I
frequently am wrong about things. But this is the way it appears
to me:" (And then state your beliefs.)
By admitting you may be wrong, and by admitting that you
frequently are wrong (You are, you know. We all are.), you
almost force the other person to admit that he, too, may be
wrong! Then, with your egos out of the way, you can both search
objectively for the truth!
And if you really are wrong this time, it will be much less
embarrassing for you than if you had been stubbornly insisting
that you were totally right!
16. LET THE OTHER PERSON DO MOST OF THE TALKING.
You like it when people let you do most of the
talking. So do the same for them. It won't hurt you, and you
might learn something.
17. LET THE OTHER PERSON TALK ABOUT HIMSELF.
You like to talk about yourself, don't you? We all like to talk
about ourselves! But restrain the urge, and let the other person
talk about himself, instead.
18. LET THE OTHER PERSON TAKE SOME CREDIT.
If something has worked out well, don't grab all the credit
for yourself, even if you think you deserve it all. Spread the
credit around, share it with the other people involved.
19. LET THE OTHER PERSON SAVE FACE.
The expression "saving face" means to maintain dignity, or not
to look like an idiot or a worthless person. Sometimes people do
things which make them look like an idiot or a worthless person.
If you can rescue the other person in such a situation, and help
him maintain his dignity, you have done a very good thing.
And maybe someone will do the same for you some day, when you
need it most! "As you do, so shall it be done unto you."
20. HOLD THE OTHER PERSON, AND YOURSELF, TO HIGH AND NOBLE
People tend to live up to the expectations others have of
them. If you expect a lot from someone, he tends to give you what
you expect. Likewise, if you expect little from someone, that is
what you tend to get.
So act honestly, and expect honesty from the other person;
act morally, and expect morality from the other person; act
fairly, and expect fairness from the other person.
21. GO THE EXTRA MILE.
You are pleasantly surprised when other people do more for you
than you had asked, or more than you expect. So do the same for
them: "Go the extra mile."
Compiled And Edited By Bill McGinnis, Written 1983-2000
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