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The Natural Law For Marriage, Divorce, And Sex
Dear Readers,
I am writing this letter against my will, but the Lord is insisting
that I do it, so I am doing it. This is the Natural Law regarding
marriage, divorce, and sex, as it applies to Western society today.
Christians will recall that God created the Natural Law and wrote it
onto the hearts of man.
The Natural Law - (Romans 2:14-16 RSV)
_____________________________________________________________
14
When Gentiles who have not the law do by nature what the
law requires, they are a law to themselves, even though
they do not have the law.
15
They show that what the law requires is written on their
hearts, while their conscience also bears witness and
their conflicting thoughts accuse or perhaps excuse them
16
on that day when, according to my gospel, God judges the
secrets of men by Christ Jesus.
_____________________________________________________________
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This, then, is the Natural Law regarding marriage, divorce, and sex.
There is more to it than is given here, but this will be enough to
begin. Basically, I am taking dictation from God, and this is what He
says:
The Nature Of Marriage
Marriage is the normal intended state for most adults. "Marriage" is
the relationship between one man and one women in which their two
bodies become as one flesh, through voluntary sexual intercourse; and
all other partners in sexual activity are henceforth excluded, by
mutual agreement.
"Sexual intercourse" is penetration of the vagina by the penis.
"Sexual activity" is any activity which includes sexual
gratification.
Establishment Of Marriage
The marriage relationship is established when both parties freely
agree to an exclusive sexual relationship with each other and
consummate it with sexual intercourse. Without voluntary agreement
there is no marriage. And without sexual consummation, there is no
marriage. Both elements are necessary. No ceremony is required: merely
agreement and consummation.
Duration Of Marriage
Once established, the marriage relationship continues until it is
broken by death, by mutual consent, or by extreme violation of the
one-flesh relationship.
When either partner dies, the relationship is broken, and the
surviving partner is free to marry again.
When both parties, by mutual consent, agree to terminate the marriage
and have no further sexual intercourse with each other, the
relationship is broken. Both are then free to marry again. Just as
voluntary agreement with sexual intercourse establishes the marriage
relationship, so also voluntary agreement without sexual intercourse
breaks the marriage relationship.
One party may terminate the marriage relationship without the consent
of the other party only if there has been extreme violation of the
one-flesh relationship by the other party. The most glaring and
extreme sexual violation is adultery, which is sexual intercourse by a
married person with some person other than the spouse. Another kind of
extreme violation would be if one party deliberately and repeatedly
inflicted harm on the other, in a way that he surely would not do to
himself.
In general, God opposes the termination of marriages. The greatest
single cause of divorce is sexual activity outside the marriage. If
you look deeply enough in almost any divorce, you will find the
disruptive influence of an outside partner in sexual activity. Perhaps
there are a few exceptions to this rule, but not many. Therefore all
such activity is prohibited, particularly adultery, which is a major
offense against God.
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Sexual Activity For Those Who Are Not Married
Sex is a natural, God-given part of life, just as eating and sleeping
are natural, God-given parts of life. The desire for physical release
through sexual orgasm is a natural desire, like hunger or thirst. Some
people feel sexual desire more strongly than others, and those to whom
God has given strong sexual desires must not be judged or condemned by
those whose desires are weaker.
God provides for all our needs, including our need for sexual release.
His preferred method for dealing with sexual need is marriage, as
described above.
Nevertheless, people who are not married are also entitled to sexual
release, without guilt or shame.
There are different degrees of sexual intimacy which unmarried people
might experience with each other, from simple kissing to the various
forms of sex leading to orgasm. Sexual intercourse is reserved for
married people alone. Any other sexual activity between unmarried
persons should be governed by the rule," The closer you are to being
married, the greater intimacy you are permitted." Sexual orgasms bond
people closer to each other, leading the unmarried toward marriage and
strengthening the bond which already exists between those who are
married. Therefore sexual activity involving orgasm should be confined
to the one person with whom you are seeking a long-term marital bond.
Thus, sexual promiscuity, or "playing the harlot," is forbidden.
Certain kinds of sexual activity are simply not permitted, and these
are sex in any form with a person of the same sex, with an animal, or
with a close relative. Rape is forbidden, and also any adult sexual
activity with persons below the minimum age for marriage.
God has provided one method of sexual release, acceptable for all
people, and that is private solo masturbation. If you do not have a
married spouse or other acceptable sexual partner available to you,
you always have your own hand. There is no Scriptural prohibition
whatsoever against private solo masturbation. In fact, it can even be
a form of worship, as we give thanks to God for our bodies and for the
wonderful feelings He allows us to have.
"For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be
rejected if it is received with thanksgiving;" (1 Timothy 4:4 RSV)
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Children
Since sexual intercourse is reserved for married couples only, then
conception and childbearing should occur only among married couples.
From the moment of conception, the children are the joint
responsibility of the husband and the wife. Husband and wife have
equal rights in the children, and equal responsibilities toward them.
In the event of divorce, those rights and responsibilities need to be
allocated somehow, since the children will no longer be able to live
normally with both parents. This is one major reason why God opposes
divorce: it usually creates great difficulties and complications for
the children.
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If the Lord is willing, He will direct me to write more on these
subjects in the future. For now, this is all He is giving to me to
share with you.
Blessings to you in Jesus Christ our Lord.
October 17, 1999
Copyright 1999 by Bill McGinnis. May be copied
and distributed without restriction, but no changes
in content may be made.
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For another perspective on sexuality, please see A Study Of Christian Sexuality.
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